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About Marriage Mentoring
why pre-marriage mentoring?
In a fast paced world of short cuts and instant gratification,
Pre-Marriage Mentoring is the step that matters — yet it's
the step that most couples skip. Marriage Mentoring can't teach
you how to be married, but it will give you a solid advantage.
topics we'll cover
• Build awareness of growth and strength areas • Align
expectations • Transitioning from singleness • Working
through in-law conflict
• Identify tools and resources • Develop marriage
skills • Spiritual discovery — what do you both believe?
• After you're married, where do you get help? • Building
a support system • Negotiating pre-wedding
planning conflict
mentoring is...
- a Resource Provider
- Encouragement
- Truth-Telling
- a Model
- Pointing the way
- Interraction that imparts experience, wisdom and
discernment
- A person investing time in you
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mentoring is not...
- Partnering with a parent
- Partnering with a friend (on a social level)
- Counseling
- Necessarily long term
- Advice from a perfect marriage
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Wedding Plans or Marriage Plans?
By Jim Mueller
You're engaged. The date is set. The biggest, happiest day of
your life is just a few months away.
Bliss becomes burden as you feel the pressure of wedding planning.
Your gown, formalwear, dates, deposits. Banquet hall or caterer?
Band or DJ? Where to honeymoon? Who's in the bridal party? Flower
selection, budget decisions, guest list.
After the big day, so many brides sigh, "The day just flew by!"
Couples realize they invested dozens of man-hours, over a several
month period, planning an event that lasts just one day. And
when the party's over, reality sets in —We're married now!
A wedding is a complex event. There are many elements to coordinate,
decisions to make and deadlines to meet to make your day the
memorable experience you want it to be. This once-in-a-lifetime
celebration deserves your attention. But, are you forgetting
something?
Let's do a little cost-benefit analysis. How long will you be
married to your future partner? Thirty, forty, fifty years?
That's a long time. Is the time you expect to be married, proportional
to the time you've invested in marriage preparation? Are you
investing disproportionate time planning your wedding day?
Think past the wedding. What will marriage really be like? Do
you really know your future partner? What baggage are you both
bringing in to the relationship? Are you compatible? How do
you prepare for the inevitable speed bumps ahead? What are your
odds for success in this divorce-crazy world?
Put your plans on pause and invest in something that matters
— your marriage. Here's my checklist for marriage preparation.
Mentoring
Engage in a pre-marriage mentoring process. Partnering
with a trained, seasoned married couple will provide a sounding
board and a safe place to explore your questions about marriage.
Your church might have such a program. This is a learning process,
a relational connection to the knowledgeable and experienced.
But this process is much more than learning. A mentoring couple
can provide support, accountability and a valued relationship.
Additionally, such a process might provide an inventory assessment,
showing you where growth is needed in your relationship.
Continued...
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